Today's issue of TechnoLawyer NewsWire covers a network appliance that writes briefs, a Web app that recreates the document review rooms of old for eDiscovery, a specialized email filter that deletes ad hominem arguments, a tool for boosting your billable hours, and an iPhone social networking app for meeting up with people who can help you when you need a day off. Don't miss the next issue.
Briefs That Write Themselves (Associate Not Included)
Most automation tools are limited to documents such as wills that have the same basic components and structure each time. That's helpful, but many lawyers create unique documents that require analysis and creativity as opposed to just filling in the blanks — briefs, letters, memos, layoff notices, etc. These documents keep many a lawyer trapped in their office until late at night. So how about some automation technology that enables you not only to spend less time at the office but less time thinking?
BrainDump … in One Sentence
Hoodathunk's BrainDump is a network appliance that automates the drafting of briefs, obviating the need for critical thought.
The Killer Feature
BrainDump's "Brief Brief" feature ensures that you never miss a tee time (or teatime or whatever you enjoy). However, it works best when you have a junior associate at your disposal. If you don't have one, you can usually find them near fancy skyscrapers around lunchtime after the law firms in these buildings announce their latest round of layoffs.
Once you have an associate, give them an overview of your case and ask them to find supporting opinions for all the points you want to make in your brief. If your associate used to work in a large firm, give him the assignment on a Friday afternoon and ask for the research to be on your desk the next morning even though you don't plan to get back to the office until Tuesday. That way, you'll put him in his comfort zone.
When you return to the office (on Wednesday), review the headnotes of the cases. If the cases look good, simply dump them into BrainDump's 5,000-page automatic document feeder and press the "Brief Brief" button. After just a few minutes, BrainDump will print out your brief and all supporting documents, as well as email a copy to you, your client, and opposing counsel, and even file it with the court if it offers e-filing.
Other Notable Features
BrainDump can produce virtually any legal document and has 50 programmable buttons. If you run out of buttons, you can create button-pressing sequences for documents that you create less frequently. For example, while you might want to press a button only once for a nasty letter to opposing counsel, you could program BrainDump so that pressing the same button 112 times produces a friendly letter to opposing counsel.
BrainDump is not Energy Star compliant given its heavy processing requirements. However, it compensates with its built-in shredder. After scanning the raw material you feed it, BrainDump shreds it into subatomic particles. Even an electron microscope cannot detect any remnants. For this reason, Hoodathunk recommends feeding only copies to BrainDump, not originals.
While BrainDump might sound a bit dangerous, it has a highly intelligent sensor that can detect human skin. Therefore, if you accidentally insert your hand too far while feeding it some deposition transcripts, you'll be pleasantly surprised by what happens — BrainDump will trim your fingernails if needed and then turn off. The company is reportedly working on a manicure add-on by popular demand.
What Else Should You Know?
In addition to paper, BrainDump can handle CDs, DVDs, hard drives, USB drives, and your voice — just shout into the ADF. BrainDump comes in two pieces — a five pound 5 x 5 x 5 inch base and a 500 pound 5 x 5 x 5 foot ADF. Assembly requires four or five able-bodied people. Hoodathunk provides a list of CBCs (certified brawny consultants) on its site should you require assistance. The price of BrainDump depends on its opinion of your intelligence.
TLN Roundup: Pardon the Dust Plus Much More
Litinoodle's EDDWorld (Web) is a Web-based document review tool that mimics the paper-based systems of the past. The Killer Feature: You review discovery documents in a virtual document review room using an avatar. You can adjust various elements such as the amount of dust, the number of blown ballasts in the fluorescent lights, and the color of your Redwelds and Bates Stamper. The pricing of EDDWorld depends on the size of your document collection.
Redonkulous Technologies' Wordundant (Windows) is a utility that automatically deletes TechnoLawyer newsletters and other email in which someone praises or criticizes word processing software. The Killer Feature: Instead of having these newsletters deleted sight unseen, hundreds of clever animations such as "walk the plank" make it fun to delete these ad hominem arguments.
Rounding Error's Billable Bully (Web) helps persuade you to bill for time that you're unsure about. The Killer Feature: Billable Bully asks you a series of questions after which it builds a case as to why you're entitled to bill the time. In fact, lawyers who use Billable Bully end up billing twice as much time on average as what they originally enter. Billable Bully also provides lengthy descriptions for your bills. You pay Billable Bully 20% of the fees you collect on the time it persuades you to bill.
Beer Gut Software's DayOff (iPhone) is a social networking app that uses GPS to locate people nearby who have a bad cold so that you can infect yourself and get a day off. The Killer Feature: Thanks to built-in chat software, you can ask those in your vicinity about their symptoms. Thus, if you prefer sneezing to coughing, etc., you can wait until you find the perfect mix of symptoms before meeting up and shaking hands.
Publisher's Note: In case you haven't guessed by now, none of the five products described above actually exist (I hope). April Fool's! We'll resume covering real products next week.
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So many products, so little time. In each issue of TechnoLawyer NewsWire, you'll learn about five new products for the legal profession. Pressed for time? The "In One Sentence" section describes each product in one sentence, and the "Killer Feature" section describes each product's most compelling feature. The TechnoLawyer NewsWire newsletter is free so don't miss the next issue. Please subscribe now.
