TechnoLawyer

Originally published on February 22, 2010 in our free SmallLaw newsletter.

I had lunch with a lawyer recently and left wondering if the guy had been raised by wolves. His table manners were abysmal. Seriously, I'm no Emily Post. My elbows sometimes end up on the table. I'm never sure which bread plate is mine. But this guy was ridiculous.

The most basic form of marketing is lunch. You sit down for a meal with a prospective client or referral source. You make small talk and get to know one another. If all goes well, you shake hands and leave with a plan to meet again. Usually, if there's a need for legal services, your lunch will lead to an engagement.

I'm not the only person who thinks about business dining etiquette. I've asked around, and confirmed that you can kill your credibility by eating like an animal. We don't need to have perfect manners. I'm not talking about extending your pinkie over tea or anything. We do, however, need to have the basics under control.

15 Rules of Etiquette For Business Dining

Below I've listed 15 basic etiquette rules that will leave you well fed, credible, and with a reasonable expectation of winning a new client or a referral.

1. Put your napkin in your lap immediately upon sitting down.


2. Your water glass is the one on the right.


3. Wait until everyone has their food before you dig into yours.


4. Don't gesture with your silverware.


5. Don't talk with food in your mouth (even if you hold your hand in front of your mouth).


6. Chew with your mouth closed.


7. Cut only enough food for the next mouthful.


8. Keep your elbows off the table (and remind me to do the same if we're together, okay?).


9. Don't lick your fingers.


10. Don't use a toothpick or apply makeup at the table.


11. Go to the restroom if you get something stuck in your teeth. Deal with it privately.


12. Don't push your plate away or stack up your dishes when you're finished.


13. Don't put your dirty silverware back on the table. When you're finished, put the dirty silverware on your plate in the 10 O'clock position.


14. Don't answer your cell phone during lunch. Don't even put it on the table. Don't check your email either.


15. Don't complain about the restaurant if your guest selected it.

Many other etiquette rules exist. I've only touched on the most basic of basics. You can read any of a number of business etiquette books, which I consider a reasonable investment of your time.

I hired an etiquette coach for my firm on one occasion. The coach took us out for a multi-course lunch at a beautiful restaurant. He walked us through which silver to use, which glasses to use, etc. He did it all in an entertaining manner without offending anyone. It was a good investment.

Maybe you already know these rules. That's great. Maybe you think think they're a waste of your time. Here's the deal — the person sitting on the other side of the table may think they matter. Like it or not, people judge you based on your manners. The last thing you want to do is lose business because you talked with your mouth full.

Pay attention to the basic rules I've mentioned and you'll be well on your way to generating some business. Lunch works. Do it more often and you'll steadily grow your practice. Oh, and one more thing — your bread plate is to your left.

Written by Lee Rosen of Divorce Discourse.

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