Originally published on May 11, 2009 in our free BigLaw newsletter.
Indigenous to law firms is a breed of men and women of authority, seemingly devoid of all reason, whose sole purpose for being is to make the lives of their colleagues as miserable and as difficult as possible. They micromanage. They scream. They're demanding. You know them — the Crazy Partners. But in light of current economic conditions, they may soon become extinct.
Profiles in Crazy …
"Celia" is a bona fide Crazy Partner. She has worked in the corporate department of a top law firm for 20 years and has been a partner for 12. Celia is an excellent attorney and a workaholic, but she is not a rainmaker. She has frizzy white hair and wears her oversized red glasses around her neck like a necklace. She barrels through the halls muttering to herself, and, according to a source, routinely does not wash her hands after using the bathroom — a gross and arguably dangerous habit (Swine Flu, anyone?). No one knows exactly why she made partner.
Longtime coworkers are aware that Celia's rumpled exterior telegraphs her bizarre and uneven work habits, but new associates find out the hard way.
Celia pounces on all newcomers, whether first years or summers, calling them all on their first day on the job and assigning dubiously billable memos, "presentations," and firm-wide alerts. She creates phantom deadlines for the make-work projects, and repeatedly calls and emails associates for status updates.
On one occasion, she asked a first year to revise a memo more than a dozen times, and each time he submitted the memo to her, she called him to her office and made the associate wait in silence as she read the latest version for the first time and made back and forth hand edits to the draft. The fate of the memo is still unknown because eventually Celia forgot about it.
On another occasion, Celia scheduled an early morning meeting with a different first year about a memo. When the associate arrived at her office, Celia was on the phone and motioned for the associate to take a seat. After five minutes, she then asked the associate to stand outside her office. After 20 minutes, Celia had her assistant tell the first year that she would have to postpone the discussion. The associate returned to her desk to find a "High Importance" email from Celia reprimanding her for not having brought print outs of several email attachments to their (cancelled) meeting.
Change Your Law Firm Can Believe In …
The market downtown of 2008 and grim economic forecast for 2009 has forced Celia's firm to enact cost cutting measures, including attorney and staff reductions. At many firms, these "reductions" have taken the form of associate layoffs. However, some firms, including Celia's, are also reviewing the partnership for downsizing opportunities. As a result of this review, Celia was demoted from equity partner to an income counsel position. She is reportedly no longer permitted to work with junior associates.
This story may have an unhappy ending for Celia, but it illustrates how firms can maximize their use of the faltering economy, if they're willing to put ego aside. The current economic climate is an opportunity for firms to become less bloated and more efficient, which includes, among other things, reviewing personnel at every level. After all, "dead weight" can come in the form of staff, associates, counsel, and partners — and firms that do not spare partners from review are better poised for success in the near term and in the long term.
Celia's firm may have erred in initially making her a partner, but it should be commended for recognizing and rectifying the situation. And while it is disappointing that many firms (including Celia's) are only now effecting positive changes to their businesses, we here at BigLaw are not complaining. We'll take what we can get.
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